I have never been through such a big love. Many says that I am too young for love but too old to be single. Life is surely confusing is not it? God created me in a way that none would understand. I know deep down that I have two personages; Indra and me.
I am a bubbly, funny, upbeat and cheerful guy. The exact opposite of me is Indra, my other personage. Compared to me, he is silent, stoic, blunt, and apathetic. We view life in the exact opposite. If I view life as being rose-colored, I can tell that his will be grey-colored. To the exact opposite, we are very similar in manner.
“Thou art I, and I am thou. From the sea of thy soul, I come”.
I always heard that voice in my dreams, it happens to both of us. We know it better than anyone else, that both of us lives inside this flesh. To make matters worse; we both fall in love with the same girl. I still remember the first smile she showed me. It was beautiful above anything else. I can still remember how she yells at me; the way she plays along with anything. I do not know how many times I was saved by her smile, but it lets me to have some rest in a sparkling peace.
Indra is another personality that comes from the sea of my soul. I have always been alone in my life. I stood up by myself, facing the hardships surrounding me like the wave of southern seas. Indra is the only one who holds me dearly when I am in need of friend. Because of that, we are similar. He is me, and I am him. Indra is the symbol of my apathy towards life. We are the exact opposite. My love to her can be seen as lust in his eyes. But you know, we are confused of everything. The first time I see Indra in my dream, gazing the starry skies in the vast galaxy.
“My dearest, are you well”?
Indra is the exact opposite of me. He is friendlier to death and loss. Once, he told me that no one loves him because he is the painful truth of me as I am the beautiful lie. I always want to ask people how they see me. To the funny thing is, they see me as a beautiful truth. What is truth and what is lie? We both laugh together as we see that life goes on, and leaving death behind. We pat Death like an old friend. We have been as friendly as we could be with him. Death told me something that he never told us before.
“Life goes on. They walk in a steady pace, leaving us behind. People, come with her and go with me. But both of you should know, that I leave love behind”.
I rode with Indra the other day to Magelang. Memories of this beautiful peace come to my mind like a vast tsunami. Indra sits at the back of my seat, pouring his hands to the one that creates him. As life is cheerful to God, death is very thankful for the memories he always shares with everyone. Indra knows that he is a symbol of death. He knows well that even if he dies, his love for the same woman that I love will remain the same. No one can escape the Great Time. He delivers all equally to the same end. Both of us know that we cannot pretend like it will not happen. But my dearest, do you know that both in life and death, I still love you?
“I might have lost my sky chord. Indra said that it does not matter. Since we wrote this chord in our memories of you”.
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